Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't think brook has ever known best
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
