I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
