so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize