You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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