SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
