I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
