i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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