Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i barfeds in our rink
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
