How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
