conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Someone signed my nipple.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
