so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
