i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
