I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
