I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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