in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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