Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize