perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
