Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have feelings that need drinking.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
