dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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