i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
