ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
