i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
