i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
