it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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