I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
