Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
