I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
