haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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