i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
