so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
