Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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