i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
