is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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