We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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