got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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