Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
