Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
