She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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