can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
