have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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