Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
my liver is dry heaving
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