I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
