Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
