dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
