Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
