so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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