woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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