I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize