I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The ass gains better be worth it
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