Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
