What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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