just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
