We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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