Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
