I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
