we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
